When you sit down to design your estate plan, it’s completely natural to think about your children and want to treat them with absolute equality. For many parents, that desire leads to a very common question: “Can’t I just name my adult children to serve together as co-executors, co-trustees, or co-powers of attorney?”

It sounds like a fair, loving solution that prevents anyone from feeling left out. But according to Mark Costley, senior estate planning attorney at Clarity Legal Group, doing this almost never plays out the way parents hope.

In fact, in his decades of practicing law, Mark has a clear take on the matter: “I have never seen a situation nor conceived of a situation where doing that makes things better.”

Watch Mark’s quick breakdown of this critical decision below, and read on to find out why forcing your children to share these roles might be creating an unintended burden for them.

The Illusion of the “Shared Burden”

The number one reason parents choose co-fiduciaries (the legal term for trustees, executors, or agents under a power of attorney) is the belief that it will share the workload. It feels like a big job (and it often is) and you don’t want to dump it all on one person’s shoulders.

However, there is a massive legal and practical difference between sharing a burden by choice and sharing it by necessity.

Sole Trustees/Executors can delegate: If you name a single child to the role, they aren’t forced to do everything alone. They have the legal authority to act, but they can easily delegate tasks, ask their siblings for help, and share the responsibilities by choice.
Co-Trustees/Executors must coordinate: When you name co-fiduciaries, they are legally bound to share the burden by necessity. This means they both must sign off on financial decisions, both must coordinate with banks, and both must execute legal paperwork together.

Instead of cutting the work in half, you are often doubling the logistical hurdles.

Why Co-Roles Make Administration Harder

When you legally tie your children together in business and legal matters, you often introduce two main complications to an already emotional time:

1. A Loss of Clarity and Efficiency

When a crisis or a death occurs, your family needs clear, decisive action. Having multiple people in charge can blur the lines of communication. If a financial institution or a healthcare provider requires signatures or consent from both parties, simple tasks can stretch out into lengthy delays.

2. An Added Logistical Burden

Even if your adult children get along perfectly, life gets in the way. They may live in different parts of the country, work demanding jobs, or have busy families of their own. Forcing them to coordinate every phone call, document review, and legal signature doesn’t help them—it creates an additional administrative headache during a period of grief.

Naming co-trustees or co-executors doesn’t minimize the work; it just means it takes two people to do a job that could have been handled efficiently by one.

Playing to Your Children’s Strengths

Choosing one person to lead a specific role isn’t a declaration of favoritism; it’s a matter of practical strategy. Your children have different personalities, talents, and lifestyles.

A highly effective estate plan often aligns those specific strengths with the appropriate roles:

The Organizer: The child who is meticulous with paperwork, numbers, and administrative tasks might be the ideal choice to serve as a Trustee or Executor.
The Communicator: The child who is calm under pressure, empathetic, and excellent at navigating tough conversations might be best suited to serve as your Health Care Power of Attorney.

By assigning different children to different roles based on what they are genuinely good at, you respect their individual strengths without forcing them into an awkward, forced partnership.

Get Clarity on Your Estate Plan

Your estate plan shouldn’t just say what you want; it needs to be structured to actually do what you want with the least amount of stress for those you leave behind. Avoiding the traps of co-management is just one way to ensure your plan executes seamlessly.

If you are ready to move from a place of uncertainty to absolute peace of mind, let’s look at your options together.

Contact Clarity Legal Group today at (919) 484-0012 or schedule your estate planning consultation.